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Sex & Ayurveda

Sex During Pregnancy

Nothing raises as many eyebrows as the subject of sex during pregnancy. Despite the old saying that medical and religious miracles aside, every pregnancy started with a sex act.

One thing that I would note is that sex and sexuality are very different, and that even if you are not having sexual intercourse, your sexuality can still be expressed.

Your sexual practices during pregnancy will depend on several factors:

  • Your previous beliefs about sex
  • Your Partner's previous beliefs
  • Physical aspects of your pregnancy
  • Emotional aspects of your pregnancy

There are many reasons why sex during pregnancy can be more enjoyable, even if your are doing it less. There is an increase in vaginal lubrication, engorgement of the genital area helps some people become orgasmic for the first time or multi-orgasmic, the lack of birth control, or if you have been trying for awhile, a return to sex as pleasure as opposed to procreational, and other reasons.

On the other hand there are reasons why sex might not be as pleasurable: fear of hurting the baby, nausea, fatigue, awkwardness, etc.

Although these can be valid reasons, doing research and talking to your partner and practitioner can often help you clarify what is really inappropriate during pregnancy, particularly for you.

Change is rampant during pregnancy both in your body and your beliefs. While women may feel large and uncomfortable, men generally find the pregnant body very erotic and desirable. Talk about your differences and attitudes towards your body and sexuality.

Make sure that you discuss the feelings that you have about sex and sexuality. These discussions can lead to a more fulfilling sex life. If either of you do not feel like having sex, this can be particularly important. Explain to your partner what is going on and what they can do to help you be sexual. For example: more cuddling, relaxing baths, romantic dinners, massages, mutual masturbation, whatever you and your partner agree upon is exactly what you need.

The hormonal fluctuations of pregnancy also play a part in your reactions to making love, as do the trimesters. Many women are too fatigued and nauseated to be very interested during the first trimester, while the second trimester brings a new sense of delight as her abdomen grows, and again later in the third trimester the desire may wane as well.

Okay, so we know that there are wide variances in who is doing it and when, the big question (No pun intended.) is how?

Creativity should be your keyword during pregnancy. Or more bluntly put, whatever works! 

There are many positions that are more comfortable as you expand. These include:

  • Woman on top
  • Spooning (Man behind woman, rear entry)
  • Hands and Knees
  • Side lying, knee pulled up

When not to have sex and/or orgasms during pregnancy: 

  • Your practitioner has advised against it
  • You have a history of premature birth or labor
  • Placenta previa (Where part of the placenta is covering the cervix)
  • Your water has broken
  • Your are currently experiencing bleeding
  • You or your partner has an active sexually transmitted disease
Most women worry about postpartum sex beginning in pregnancy. During pregnancy you may have wondered what the effects of the pregnancy on your body and mind, not to mention a new little one would have on your sex life postpartum. The good news is that many women find that they have better sex lives, just different, after the birth of a baby. Just remember it will be different. Here are some tips to enhancing your postpartum sex life!

Postpartum sex

  • Don't rush into anything. Take your time. Having sex before you are ready (your mind or your body) is harmful to your relationship.
  • Shower together! Or bathe together. Not only will it save time and money for water but you might have a lot of fun.
  • lan for birth control. Don't be someone who is caught two months after the birth of your baby wondering if you got pregnant because you took a chance.
  • Try to plan some time alone, even if it's just to cuddle. Having a baby may leave you feeling "touched out," but some special snuggle time with your main guy can help revive that, even before sexual intercourse is allowed or wanted.
  • Get to know each other a bit better. Remember you're both having to adjust your life to being parents, even if it's not your first child.
  • Be spontaneous! Bedtime might not always be the right time. Nor will the bedroom always be the right place. Add some spice to your sex life, act like a teenager!
  • Lubrication! Make sure you and your partner take enough time to get into the mood and that you're feeling moist enough to handle it. If you think you need some more help than what mother nature is providing, be sure to use an over the counter lubricant rather than worry needlessly. If you're still concerned talk to your practitioner.
  • Remember it's quality not quantity. You don't have to have sex every night, not even every week. Figure out what timing is right for your relationship.
  • Talk about your fears of sexual intercourse. Maybe you're worried about the repair of an episiotomy or some stitches that you had. Perhaps you're concerned about how your partner feels after watching you give birth.
  • Never hesitate to say no. Maybe you need the freedom to say no once in awhile. Your partner might also need the same freedom. There are also compromises that can be made along the way. Maybe intercourse is out but some good old-fashioned kissing and necking isn't?

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